God, what happened to me? | Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Ok so a few weeks ago the news of the EXCO was out. I was so prepared not to get any role. Not because I don't want to but...my common tests...arent up to standard and therefore tada. Bye bye Presidentship. Byebye Logicstics EXCO. I was like its alright. Its the best for me. God did what's best for me. And while that my other friend was like happy that God gave her the job as a candidate as a President. Well congratulations ^^
And then there's the IKEA project. Oh gosh just chasing all around...I feel like an idiot running on hot tracks being chased by some kinda cats. Heck with it.
Then there's homelife. Just the other day I was having a huge blow with my mum all because of tidbits. Crap. And I put on my earphones(or whatever the heck it is called) on at night mostly. I just...don't wanna hear my family...just like shutting myself.
Still, life goes on. These 2 days I fell asleep on my bed-my homeworks aren't finish. Yeah I had a good sleep, but my works are more important.
I'm kinda lost...like why this kinda crap life? Why cant I move on? Is there something I can do?
Then I read "Tuesdays with Morrie". A friend introduced me that book, and it really blew me away. Yes, my whole perspective of life changed a little. But more importantly, my career begins to shift its path again. I am interested in the human life and society and what life is all about...
But then....life is still as it is...
The other day my friend went to SOTA, and I was like why there isn't a school for laws or politicals or even mental health study of those sort? ITS SO UNFAIR .
So far, I feel that I'm improving in terms of my subjects, but NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
Ok, I'm jus crapping here, but I think I really need a break. I want to finish my stuffs, and I do not need more pilling up. TYVM. God save me from this maze....what had I done wrong to get this? What kind of test is this? Did you bring this to me, or had I brought it upon myself? In anycase Lord, let me out of this prison and let me fly again...
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Memory jotted at 10:09 PM
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How come I don't know how to play anymore? | Sunday, April 11, 2010
Ok, so I turn on FB everyday, then AFK at GE, then pop in my song and take a nap or do my hw or go slack a bit...then its work again...
Don't know why...but I do not see how playing can destress anymore...it feels like...a chore. Maybe I'm playing the wrong kind of play?
Working on DnT is stressful, as this weekly meeting is like a deadline to me, and one week...so many things needs to be prepared. Then I still got school which I'm totally worried about. I lost a lot of things because of my Common Test 1 back in February...and I do not want history to repeat itself. Same thing goes for the DnT project, and I wanna do better.
Then...there's a lot of things at home...my mum, dad and brother too...so many things to bother. I tried not to care, but it'll jus be related to me in the end...
I tried FB as a relaxation, but it feels like a bore. I tried GE to play, but OMG, afk soo much, is that even playing?
Maybe its time to get out? I realise that life is very short sometimes, and I had to make full use of it, but then...after achieving my goal...will I still be able to continue it and sustain it?
So how when I die? Leave a legacy or just perish....
So before I regret it, I need to live it to the fullest. Work is fine for me now, but I need to know how to really, destress...
Hope I found out soon. God may pass me some wisdom.
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Memory jotted at 11:11 PM
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O.o Did I blog abt my bday?
Anyway I forgot, so happy belated bday me ^^
Ytd was the interview for EXCO for my school. Was very nervous, seriously. The rain was soothing my heart though, so after the rain it was alright. When I went in it was ok. Nothing wrong....
Then results came out today. Fast, but haiz, nvm ba. An all girls EXCO team...which I really had in mind...LOL. Grtz for all ppl who made it ^^
Well gotta rush, doing hw and stuffs. After exams then blog again ba...see 1st.
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Memory jotted at 6:56 PM
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Wong Jian Ann
Coming 15 in 2010
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